February 27th, 2007

[x men] Charles and Erik na trawce

Loosing My Smile

I wonder when the day will come, when I will finely lose my smile.

I'm just so tired of living, you know? I'm fed up with struggling to live another day, beliving that it must get better, just to find out that miracles just don't fucking happen, dreams don't come true and it can ALWAYS get worse. There's nothing for me in this world, and even thouth I like to pretend, I don't have a singlr true friend, who would know me enough just to know when I fucking need some one to just frigging come and hug me and tell me some nonesense that it's going to get better!

I just feel so fucking lonely and betraved by life all the time.

This year, so far, has sucked. And it's going to get worse when the matura exams will come, then I won't be accepted to university, and then I will kill myself, cause I don't want to spend my life as a looser.

I already am one... ugly, stupid and alone, but so far I didn't care.

Maby it's just that I'm sick, with a high fever most of the time, maby it's my fucked up parents, devil brother or teachers with books shoved up their asses.

AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF THE ONLY THING I CARE FOR [BESIDE MY DOG] - THE GUNDAM WING FANDOM - IS SLOWLY, BUT SURELY DIEING...

I thought I found a person, whom with time I could gt to love. But that person, just... just doesn't treat me seriously most of the time. Like I'm just an idiot without feelings, like I'm not even worth being a best friend. I hate it, and I will not go to the concert with Arthur, because I can already hear everybody saying we were on a date. I hate you people. Just die, and stop ruining my life long friendship with him!

Thank you, and please excuse my rambling.
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